Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
