Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
