i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
