i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
True college students do jello shots in the library
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
