It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
