He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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