i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The police scanner is talking about you again....
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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