He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
