me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
