Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
