what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
