ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
