I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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