first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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