Betty ford says i'm here all night
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
