I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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