let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
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