Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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