He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
