So drunk its hurt
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
