It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Someone shattered a urinal.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
