just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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