when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
