ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Success! We fucked roommates!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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