it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
