question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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