we have officially lost it.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
