Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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