Just fell off a train. Bad.
Your dad touched me again.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
