there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
