My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
