either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she looked like the before picture.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Dear god my vagina.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
