I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
me + whiskey = a bad person
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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