party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
