I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
