Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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