I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
