You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
