So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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