I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
