There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
