just tell him i said nine months
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
