Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
