Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
