I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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