if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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