how can u be prego again
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
