Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
‪I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse. ‬
Randomize
