So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
