Having a random hookup so left but love u
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
