Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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