If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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